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While in Moultrie, GA a few weeks ago now, we encountered some good fortune, what some might call southern hospitality. I wouldn't call it southern hospitality, but some might. As a born and bred Yankee I tend to take umbrage at that phrase. I've come across plenty of nasty people in the south (and north) and plenty of nice people in the north (and south). My gut says that someone calling me sugar in the south just softens the edges of daily interaction, but is not necessarily more hospitable than what one would encounter anywhere else in the country. Lipstick on a pig. Enough of my blabbing on that.

If I don't happen to get to it, my point this evening is supposed to be that a big city jerk making fun of the small town yokel is much less entertaining than the small town yokel making fun of the big city jerk.

After day one of the show we came back to the truck and it wouldn't start. The battery was weak, we figured a cooler had been plugged in all day and had drained the power. As we were in amongst the giant campers and buses of the campground, I figured one of these well prepared road warriors would have jumper cables. Chris walked across to a group of guys having some post show beers. I heard a loud roar of laughter right after he went over there. It turns out the guys were exhibitors who deal exclusively in batteries... all kinds, every kind, AAA, C, D, 9V, 12V, 24V, everything in between, everything beyond and everything beneath. Needless to say, they were prepared, had a little portable booster pack and quickly hooked it up to our battery. Within a minute the truck started.

We decided to go to an Advance Auto and get the battery checked.... just in case. It was the original battery on a five year old truck, so odds were good that it was shot. You get pretty hit or miss service at these national auto stores. We got a definite hit. A young guy, probably 19 at most, loaded up the his cart full of testers, tools, wrenches and what not and went out to the truck. His initial testing suggested we needed a replacement. There was some severe corrosion on the terminals, which he explained could result in a false diagnosis. He set about cleaning up all the mess that had been collecting and reacting on the + and - for 60 months, 1800 days, and even more hours (about 1800x24). It was quite a process. Once he was able to get good contact for the tester, he ran another diagnostic with the same result. Replace. With all the corrosion, the wire harness was frozen on the battery. Any prying risked popping the terminal from the battery. It was that bad. After a bunch of banging, liquid wrenching, head scratching, tapping and twisting it came free. The "associate" whose name now escapes me had good humor throughout. I've had similar jobs, and I know any chance to get from behind the counter and work on a project for half an hour really helps the day go by quicker.

He knew he was from Moultrie, GA. He knew it was middle of nowhere. He knew it was podunk rural. He talked about high school kids who put ridiculous tires on their trucks to the point where (for truck-technical reasons I don't necessarily understand) they ride with the front end up real high so they can barely see and their brakes lose their ability to effectively... brake. He said they all come to screeching halts at the light up at the corner. I said, "Well at least they look real cool." "No they don't, they look stupid."

He told us about a trip to the north he had taken with his school band. Chris and I had a debate as to what instrument he must have played... I say the quads in the marching band, Chris went with the sax. I'm sure I'm right, but we may never know. Anyhow, the band went up to New York city for some sightseeing. They were going to be at the taping for the Today Show, so they had to get up pretty early, skip breakfast and get in position for their 5 seconds on camera as part of the mob normally over-populated by fifty year-old women from Wisconsin celebrating their first trip to the big apple. As soon as he realized they would be skipping breakfast he told his director that he'd rather go back home if they would be skipping meals. They reached a compromise where he got to go to a coffee shop and get some food. "So I went into this place and bought a terrible cup of coffee and one of those $5 cookies. It was hard as a rock, which I guess is how they like 'em up there."