The Battle of Little Big Farm

Sunday morning started peacefully enough. We were one dog short, so we all got to sleep in a little bit. Being gone a couple days made the anticipation of seeing the vegetables progress extra anticipatory. I was sure that the beans would be quite prominent and we all remember the impressive lettuce plants of a few days ago, but what other wonders were waiting for us?

Walking through the dew laden grass I could see greenery of all sorts. Cucumber plants, squash, zucchini, green beans, lettuce and even a couple tiny tomato plants were rising above the fruited plain. A few steps closer.

I saw the the sight that I hoped I'd never see. In my absence, the hated fire ants had reinforced themselves and were laying siege to the farm. Bastards! A convoy of fire ants were marching through the grass from an old mound and were apparently relocating their colony on the edge of the lettuce field. Hundreds of them, some carrying eggs, others carrying nothing, moved through the farmland and over the eastern carrot patch to their new outpost. I could not let this stand, I would not let this stand. I made the tough decision. As the farmer, I knew it was up to me. I had to use chemical and biological agents to rid the land of this red menace. I rushed back to the house and got the ant killer. I powdered the multitudes from high above with an aerial attack. From up high, they looked just like little ants.

I felt terrible, but it was necessary. I hated to do it. I had seen plenty of death the previous couple days. For some reason, dozens of turtles were trying to cross highways and byways throughout North Carolina. I don't know how many made it... but I know many didn't as I saw their carcasses on the roadside. Some upturned, some squashed, all expired. Poor guys. And gals, I assume.

I wandered about the yard and found more mounds of active fire ants. Five or six mounds dotted the landscape, full of thousands more little militants (ha! pun). They were positioned to make the next move. One mound far to the south was filled with winged ants who must have been in place for air support in a future ground attack. I had to eradicate the threat, or it least minimize it. A preemptive strike. We'll see how successful I was. It rained like crazy later in the day, so it's hard to say if it worked. Today I saw no ant activity at the farm. I didn't check any of the other mounds because I forgot.

Who knows what their plan was? Why couldn't they leave us alone? I assume they were trying to drive us out by cutting off our food supply. If that was the case, a better strategy would have been to take out the Food Lion.

Stupid ants.